I am Undone

and there are two ways of being undone.

I feel undone because the devil has been unraveling me: spinning me out faster than I can catch a breath.
a frayed bit of rope unraveling fast as the tension tugs on it.
split ends and weakness.
I cannot hold anything.
I try to braid the rope back, pinch the end, try to stop that unraveling; but it slips through clumsy fingers that burn at its touch.
rope burn is painful.
so is trying to hold your life together in your own strength.
it's clutching, grasping, clawing, gasping as your head sinks below water.
it's undone.
it's a stripping away to a painful place where the devil crows over you and your loss.
it's debilitating.
paralyzing,

and then, there's UNDONE.
life lived upside down and inside out but oh-so-right because He's at the center of it.
it's Matthew 5 and that Sermon on the Mount.
Blessed are you who you are poor, mourning, meek, hungry, thirsty, persecuted, judged; you outcast of this upside down world who choose to hand all this over to God and be the peacemakers, the righteous, the merciful, the pure, the satisfied: those sons and daughters of God.
it's loving not just neighbor as your self, but love your enemy too.
the giving of your soul. heart, mind, and strength to God alone.
it's being unashamed to be the light, His warm-light in an otherwise cold and distant world.
its God in flesh, in you.

Five Minute Friday:Exhale

let go.
let the breath carry with it all the negative charge inside.
feel the gut-deep sensation of relief that spreads.

EXHALE.

suddenly every hard line, every tight spot, is softening.
my self eases into a relaxed pose.
body, soul, and spirit no longer at war.
just realigned in His rest.

EXHALE.

everything that bothered.
everything that gnawed at you.
that spun you out feeling helpless.
its gone.
it cant live in His breath.
so breath it in.
and out.
and again and again till you find the rhythm of life lived by Him.

5 Minute Friday : Grateful

My soul sighed when I saw this word.
I have lived in such fear and worry. Wondering how it will all work out.... and staying blind to things that already have. No more does God come through on a need, than it has been swallowed up in some new worry.
Always something else that could go wrong.
But I need to just stop.
Stop.
Stand still.
Cease striving and know that I am God.
I caught my breath when I first read this version.
It added another dimension, another layer to the already arresting words, Be Still.
Cease striving.
Stop carrying on with all my worry! Stop striving to make it all work out.
Who's on the throne anyway? Did God abdicate when no one was looking?
Do I believe Him or No?
Am I willing to put my trust in Him and say thank you?
Say thank you that I still have food in my mouth, a roof over my head, a job for a Christian boss, many, many friends, family...thriving, soul feeding churches in walking distance.
All my needs met God.
Every. Last. One.
In all things, Giving thanks to the One who has keep of our souls.

Just Be Held...

Just be held by the One who calls you by name.
Just be held by the One who loves you wholly.
Just. Be. Held.
Stop striving and trying.
Its all in His hands.
Hands that are big enough and strong enough to hold you!

I Deeply needed this reminder this week.
 This was the third song to play when I started the music at work.
It set in a way, the tone for my day.
I so often come back to skeptically asking God if He really can be trusted. I mean, really.
I've been failed so many times before, God.
Yet He Will prove Himself Faithful.
Over and over. Slowly drawing on my heart. That constant, quiet reassurance that He's going to be there no matter what.

Five Minute Friday - Mess

oh, I used to be scared of you.
scared of how chaotic you were, how crazy you could tip my world.
Just the fact that you showed up in the dirtiest, unrefined way.
You didn't like to be controlled, you always escaped in some other shocking way. Just when I thought I had everything tidy again.
you were raw.
volatile sometimes.
emotions spilling everywhere and the reality of who I really was, was on display.
I thought Mess meant the absence of Beauty.
the absence of Good.
even, the absence of GOD.
it just ain't so.
HE's the only one I know, who could look at a mess and call her beautiful.
Only one who could look beyond the hurt and pain and see the desparate beating heart.
The One Who can see a Daughter becoming.

that Glorious morning...

He draws a breath of earth's air once more.
He leaves the shadows, stepping from the cave into the dawning light.
He can feel the loved ones near. He is drawn to their presence, to proclaim to them the wonderful  beginning!
He moves through the garden. Breathing deeply of the air.
His delight is compete.
It is finished.
For all time.
The Loved Ones have been bought with the deepest price.
He hears her voice.
oh Mary, dear Mary!
where is He? Oh, what have they done? He hears her worry, her anguish. she loved Him deeply.
She that is loved greatly, will love greatly.
He draws nearer to her. He hears the broken sobs.
what have they done with the body? what trick have they played?
He is behind her now, an arms length away.
"mary, Mary." Gently, He calls her name, just as He has said it every time before. tenderly.
She is distraught. Blind to him.
what have you done with His body? just tell me so I can anoint it.
Mary! He calls again. If only she will look up, she will see Hope living and breathing before her. she turns to face Him fully. Her mouth is opening to question more. Her eyes grow wide. Wider yet.
my Lord? she whispers. Afraid to trust her eyes, afraid the merest breath will blow Him away.
My Lord?
I AM. He declares back. Grins as her face turns from mourning into gladness.
She jumps from her seat to touch Him, arms reaching out.
Not yet Mary. not yet. first I must return to My Father. His eyes begin to dance. then touch me all you want!
She casts herself at His feet instead. Bows her face to the earth. Would cry and kiss His feet once more...if she could.
how? she frames the word. Yet already her mind is turning over all He has said.
in three days, I will rise.
I come to seek and save the lost.
She looks at Him with wonder. Expectation. Realization growing in her mind.
oh can it be?
oh Mary, I have bought you! My blood is yours now. you will never be truly separated frrm Me again!
oh lord! my lord...how wonderful you are! 

Following Him

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,  Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.                                                               Hebrews 12:1-2

I am so thankful. For the brothers and sisters God puts in my life.
The ones who are already walking that hard and lonely road of follow Him.
Who know just how much courage it takes to shut ones eyes and grab hold of God's hand and say
"Ok, Lead me." And then keep walking.
Keep following.
Walk through the valleys and right up along the mountain precipices.
You open your eyes and see how close you are to the edge and really, you would fall if He didn't have your hand. There's no way you would make it trying to climb that in your dark.
Who see you struggling, see that you're slipping and you think you just might want to pull your hand out of God's and sit down awhile... Who holler back from where they are, "don't give up now! If you could just see what He sees! Take those next steps, He's going to uncover your eyes. You're so close! "
Don't. Give. Up.
Because He really does have you safe in His arms.
He really does love you.
He really is planning the best for you.
For a hope and a future.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.                                              Jeremiah 29:11

He really wants you as a part of His glory.