5-minute-Friday: that Whisper of Grace

Well, not quite five minutes. running on a little longer than that, running maybe a little messy, but this 5-minute-friday sounds...good.


What am I but a daughter trying to live without a father?
I go day by day. I breathe in and out. because my body does that automatically. 
I look at things that storm my day and determine to get through them...if its the last thing I do.
I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders...because that's what I do. It's my job. right?
 To carry my burdens unaided, to carry those of my family, my workplace, my friends. 
it just is, it's always been that way.

Words that have won their way into my mind. 
They seek to keep me on a certain path. Bound for a destination I did not choose...but now have.
They are constant. 
Unrelenting. 
Unforgiving. 
Cycling endlessly to tell me there is no hope.
That I'm alone.
Unprotected.
Un-cared for.
Unloved.

Till that whisper of grace.
The one they tried so hard to drown out? It's there.
bubbling up.
streaming from the WELLSPRING. 
Bathing tired thoughts. Washing away the weariness of mind, soul. 
It tells of love unending. Reaching heaven to earth. Deeper and wider than I can imagine.
Forgiveness. Free, without any need to do.
Rich, rich mercy, my life is saturated with the lavish gifts of a Father. 
A loving, adoring, heavenly Papa who takes me in His arms and tells the darkness, "MINE".
I can no longer be bought and sold by the enemy. 
Thrown about by the fierce winds of his hot accusations. his blustering rage. when I see him from the safety of my Papa's arms, I see an enemy defeated. 
with nothing left to stand on. 
I see the life He would give me. Not a coddled princess, no. 
But a Beloved one, protected, cared for. 
yes, bought with a price immeasurable.

Connections

''We’re not made for performance but for connection.

We’re not made for perfection but for growth.

We’re not made for achievement but for worship.'' Holley Gerth

Amen! This hit me squarely when I read it this morning. I have a tendency to anxiously perform...and realize later that I lost a moment of connection with some one. The 'performance' probably did not impress them, in any event it brings me no closer to friends...just a sickening sense of loss.
  Nor do I want anything less than perfection. Somehow, someway, on my journey I have equated perfection to growth, maturity. If I've grown at all, then something must be better.
  I mark my life by achievements, with goals met. But they fall hollow. 

I need my Christ and Him alone and Him glorified in me...resurrected and alive.

'For in Him we live and move and have our being...' Acts 17:28

Take no thought...

 I hold my life with tight fists. All too often.
And all too often I figure this out after my day has been spent in that attitude. 
Lord Forgive me... and help me to grow.

Luke 12:22-32

Therefore I say unto you. Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, neither for the body, what ye shall put on.

The life is more than meat, and the body more than rainment.

Consider the lilies, how they grow, they neither toil not, nor spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

If then God clothe the grass, which is today in the field and tomorrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, o ye of little faith?

And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind.

For all these things do the nations of the world seek after, and your Father knoweth ye have need of these things.

But rather seek ye first the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Fear not little flock; for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.

Doesn't that just say it all????

These words so comforted me!

How caught up I get each day in little 'everything'.
But life is more. 

More than me trying to make sure I've got it all. That I've got everything covered. That I've got enough.
I control each little detail so it fits in.

And it just don't work.

    if (well, l guess he does!)then God clothe the grass, which is today in the field andtomorrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, o ye of little faith?

and seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind.

...for your Father knows...

He knows! He knows me. And what I need. And not just what I need to be physically, but on every other level. I'm so caught up in physical needs and I'm setting growing in the Spirit aside!?

I'm getting so wound up in what I think I need, that I will not even let myself experience what I truly need.

I need to worship Him in Spirit & in Truth. 

 'experience' Him. 

seek Him first...and then all else shall be added.

unafraid for it is His pleasure to Give.

Hear is my prayer.

Because I forget. My day begins and gets busy and has gnawing worries and i forget. Right smack in the heat of the moment. I'm forgetting.

I'm forgetting He loves me.

I'm forgetting He bears burdens.

I'm forgetting that He will never give me more than I can bear.

I need to remember. Because He is good.

I need to remember and act like I remember. 

Live like there's no other way than Him.

Blessing & Promise

I have been thinking a lot about blessings lately.
Just seeing how wonderfully God has ordered things for me.
And how closely intertwined the things of my life are.
How the good and the bad are so closely linked.
I would rather just the good. I don't like pain and trials, things that weary me.
That chafe against me and my will.
I like the good, the quiet, the gentle, the things that make me feel good.
But I have blessing in trial.
Someone speaks careless words and they hurt.
Another take my words and twists them.
Things hoped for are not...there is more than just my will down here.
There is the thoughts and loves of others intersecting with mine.
And one learns grace... for every hard word. To keep quiet and so keep a quiet heart.
Can anger flourish were there is no heat to feed it?
To breath in grace and so release a soft answer.
One learns peace... for every time wills conflict. There I would go, yet here you would I stay.
So I learn to wait upon the Lord... His timing not mine. I rest in this blessed assurance.

For the beauty of the earth,
for the wonder of the skies,
for the Love which from our birth,
over and around us lies:
Lord of all to Thee we raise
this our hymn of grateful praise!

the pleasure of my LORD

For the LORD taketh pleasure in his people:
he will beautify the meek with salvation.
                                           Psalm 149:4

Psalm 18

1 I will love thee, O Lord, my strength.

2 The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer;

my God, my strength, in whom I will trust;

my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.

3 I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised:

so shall I be saved from mine enemies.

4 The sorrows of death compassed me,

and the floods of ungodly men made me afraid.

5 The sorrows of hell compassed me about:

the snares of death prevented me.

6 In my distress I called upon the Lord,

and cried unto my God:

he heard my voice out of his temple,

and my cry came before him, even into his ears.

7 Then the earth shook and trembled;

the foundations also of the hills moved

and were shaken, because he was wroth.

8 There went up a smoke out of his nostrils,

and fire out of his mouth devoured:

coals were kindled by it.

9 He bowed the heavens also, and came down:

and darkness was under his feet.

10 And he rode upon a cherub, and did fly:

yea, he did fly upon the wings of the wind.

11 He made darkness his secret place;

his pavilion round about him

were dark waters and thick clouds of the skies.

12 At the brightness that was before him his thick clouds passed,

hail stones and coals of fire.

13 The Lord also thundered in the heavens,

and the Highest gave his voice;

hail stones and coals of fire.

14 Yea, he sent out his arrows, and scattered them;

and he shot out lightnings, and discomfited them.

15 Then the channels of waters were seen,

and the foundations of the world were discovered

at thy rebuke, O Lord,

at the blast of the breath of thy nostrils.

16 He sent from above, he took me,

he drew me out of many waters.

17 He delivered me from my strong enemy,

and from them which hated me: for they were too strong for me.

18 They prevented me in the day of my calamity:

but the Lord was my stay.

19 He brought me forth also into a large place;

he delivered me, because he delighted in me.

20 The Lord rewarded me according to my righteousness;

according to the cleanness of my hands hath he recompensed me.

21 For I have kept the ways of the Lord,

and have not wickedly departed from my God.

22 For all his judgments were before me,

and I did not put away his statutes from me.

23 I was also upright before him,

and I kept myself from mine iniquity.

24 Therefore hath the Lord recompensed me according to my righteousness,

according to the cleanness of my hands in his eyesight.

25 With the merciful thou wilt shew thyself merciful;

with an upright man thou wilt shew thyself upright;

26 With the pure thou wilt shew thyself pure;

and with the froward thou wilt shew thyself froward.

27 For thou wilt save the afflicted people;

but wilt bring down high looks.

28 For thou wilt light my candle:

the Lord my God will enlighten my darkness.

29 For by thee I have run through a troop;

and by my God have I leaped over a wall.

30 As for God, his way is perfect:

the word of the Lord is tried:

he is a buckler to all those that trust in him.

31 For who is God save the Lord?

or who is a rock save our God?

32 It is God that girdeth me with strength,

and maketh my way perfect.

33 He maketh my feet like hinds 'feet,

and setteth me upon my high places.

34 He teacheth my hands to war,

so that a bow of steel is broken by mine arms.

35 Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation:

and thy right hand hath holden me up,

and thy gentleness hath made me great.

36 Thou hast enlarged my steps under me,

that my feet did not slip.

46 The Lord liveth; and blessed be my rock;

and let the God of my salvation be exalted.

Son-day

As usual, quite the weekend.
Quite the week.
I am finding out just how faithful God is.
If He said it, He meant it.

I watched Him knock down walls.
Walls that had long stood in my life.
Saw Him do IMPOSSIBLE.
Do you know how much awe that creates?
It leaves you falling on your knees speechless.
It just defies logic.
Goes for the glorious triumph.
When you catch your breath,
you just want to shout PRAISE GOD!
Praise God.
praise God.

Learning to Be Still

Here I am. 
Flat on my back yet again: sick. 
Frustrated first because I'm not supposed to be here: I'm supposed to be at work. 
Sick enough that any movement at all the first three hours brought sharp pains. 
Couldn't even read or do anything to make up for 'lost time'.
Finally a little better. And I lift my devotional to see if I can just grasp that one page. 

"Trust Me in every detail of your life. Nothing is random in My kingdom. Everything that happens fits into a pattern for good, to those who love me"                                 

Jesus Calling Devotional

And I know He sought to still me. 
Yet I worried those hours away. Fought the pain and would not trust. 
But I can say I am now. 
If all that happens the rest of the day is I lie flat on my back too weak to move and know that HE IS, 
my day is in no way wasted. 

     Trust


. 

Oh the Glories of my King...

Then let us fill all our pauses with Praise!

Let us give all that lies within us not to the voices of the enemy,

But to pure praise,
to pure loving adoration,
and to worship from a grateful heart-
a heart that is trained to look up.
Amy Carmichael 

 

Set Apart Girl

The new issue is out!
I would highly recommend it, very encouraging.

http://www.setapartgirl.com/

Keeping our focus on Him,
Gracelyn

Strangely Dim

It lingers on, strangely fixing our thoughts.

But when I fix my eyes on all that You are
Then every doubt I feel
Deep in my heart
Grows strangely dim
All my worries fade
And fall to the ground
Cause when I seek Your face
And don't look around
Any place I'm in
Grows strangely dim

It all fades, in light of Him.

Sweetest Moments

I want to take hold of each Moment. 

Before It can slip away. 

Dimly seen. 

A whisper. 

A vapor. 

Now Unnoticed.

It crept close, but found only blind eyes. 

It slipped away.

To seek another pair of eyes. 

Eyes wide open. 

What have I missed in that bare Moment?

Unadorned by anything but Grace and Simplicity. 

It would have slipped to my side; 

Whispered love and trust. 

Love beautiful and filling and spilling over the empty hole. 

Trust would have lent me His strength to lean full on. 

Would have wrapped an arm around me. 

Leaving me with a heart tipped crazy by love.

Joy bubbling into a little girl's giggle. 

Safe at last in the Daddy's arms.    

God in His Grace never leaves us where we are.
He is always at work.
Always leading.
Always challenging.
Always encouraging.
And I am so grateful.
He has been so good to me!
He will not leave me alone, He patiently culls each bad habit.
I was challenged hard this past week: I was brought face to face with an uncomfortable truth.. 
Looked full in the face of a pet sin I had carefully covered; reasoned and excused.

To spare myself an uncomfortable moment.
Those uncomfortable moments have a way of adding up.
Making a weight.

And this time, for the first time, I rejoiced! 
When it was 'over', I found a joy in the Loving instruction of my Heavenly Father.
Though it stung terribly, I find freedom in the end.

A thorn has to be taken out, though it hurts, for the wound to heal. 

Welcome

This should have been the first post perhaps, 
but the other (Moment of Grace) was my reason for starting.
I am not at all sure of blogging...but wish to share thoughts all the same. 
Share what I feel the Lord to be teaching me, perhaps. 
He is ever leading His children in the paths of life.
--Even if I am only blogging to the air;) 

       The evil habit of seeking God-and effectively prevents us from finding God in full revelation. In the "and" lies our great woe. If we omit the "and" we shall soon find God, and in Him we shall find that for which we have all our lives been secretly longing.   A.W.Tozer

A Moment of Grace

I live. I breathe.
In.
Out.
A moment of grace, now sucked into the swirling pool of time.
Because it is grace.
It is a gift.
Another breath.
Another moment to be who He made.
Another moment to rest in His identity that is mine.
Another moment to walk a blind step forward.
Another moment to love.
To live loved. To Love life.
To love the Life-giver. To Love what He gives.
To give what He loves.
Love to be defined as the mutual exchange of what is good.
His gift.
My thanks.