Five Minute Friday: When

when I sit here and rock my brother's girlfriend's sister's baby boy.
rock him gently and try to ease him into sleep. his hazel eyes blink and close against his will, and someone walks by and they snap open again. but he is lulled to sleep and I have a quiet space in which I muse about his older sister.
she is 2. almost.
and she is determined that she is staying here.
the house is getting picked up and packed up around her to move, but she is pulling her things back out of the bags and back on her shelves.
She is not moving. no sir.
and then I think of how comfortable I get with my surroundings and I don't want to budge cause it s comfortable, and then I wonder, how often am I like that with God? I cant see where he wants me to go, and I'm quite comfy. I just cant see it
But He can.
Just like this little girls daddy can see how much nicer and better the house is that he bought and is taking his little girl to.
then I wonder....when will I learn to trust my daddy God in all things?

Five Minute Friday : Keep

I wrestle with myself. With this need to 'keep myself. I want to make sure everything fits. That the money is neatly budgeted. That I don't go over. that I keep myself in order. I strive and I try. It must all work out logically. 

By trust God? Go out on a limb. On a leap of faith? Why is it so hard?

Because I won't. With my mouth I say I trust God, yet to look at my actions, I must admit otherwise. 

How much am I missing, in not giving myself fully to his keeping? He has proved himself faithful over and over. Even as I strive and it falls short, he is still always there to make up the difference, to make up the lack. To make me complete and lacking in nothing. 

But I have this feeling that he would rather I want it as well. that I cease striving.

 And let him keep me. 

Keep me in every good thing. In his love. 

Five Minute Friday: Wait

So I wait. 

I am in that I between stage. 

Mind and heart filing with ideas that want expression...

But how?

And when?

What will it look like?

I wait. 

In expectation.

In breathless anticipation. 

In anxious wondering because let's face it: waiting is not always something we do well. 

But I want to. 

As I stand between what feels like two seasons of life, I want to do the waiting well. I want to be preparing because I don't know what's coming, I just know He's coming. 

He's coming with another change for me. And I distrust change. It always hurts at the first bit. It's scary cause its different. 

It doesn't look like I've known. 

But I want to be waiting in expectation this year. 

Watching for his hand in my life. 

Taking that deep breath and following that way he leads.